Perpective
I've been in Nebraska about a month now. It's given me time to look at the whole experience. This summer certainly wasn't what I was expecting, but it was good. Panama was definitely a more personally challenging experience than anything else, forcing me to reconsider how I interact with people and giving me a taste of the "real world"'s tendency to not follow through. Coming back to Nebraska, too, has helped me see myself clearly in my context: I have one year left of school and that's it. It's kind of helpful to be a year behind because I get to see my peers going through what I'll be going through in May: finding jobs...or not, making decisions, being financially independent for real. It's been a big growing up experience, a realization that I can't just play my way through life taking trips and having adventures. It's also helped me realize that I don't just want that, that I want stability and the ability to have a dog, for example. That I want a home to a certain extent and a life that's more the school/work. I've decided to develop some hobbies, to read more, turn the intensity down a bit. We'll see how that does, but I hope it works. I'm about to finally quit the kid phase of my life and I can't rely on my mama to do all my mending for me :) Part of being a kid is just going along for the ride, just accepting what's going on. So many things just felt so natural for me for so long, like studying or traveling. Now, I'm aware more than ever that nothing is just "natural", that it's all a choice, and everything has a consequence, good or bad. I'm aware that I can balance my life as I wish, knowing there are implications for each choice.So, all in all, it's been a good summer. I'm a bit bummed I didn't take advantage of Panama more, go to beaches more, to the jungle, just travel; but, oh well, it was and odd living situation and an odd social situation and you can't get everything out of everything.
I'm really looking forward to my last year at McGill and being in Montreal.
posted by Marielly @ 9:09 AM
2 comments
